Archive for the narcissism Category

Happy Birthday to Beth Buege!

Posted in authors behaving badly, badly behaving authors, crazy people, criminals, misogyny, Murder, narcissism, psychopathy, Rape, Rapists, Reviews, sexism, Sexual Assault, society, sociopathy, trolls, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 16, 2014 by The Solution
Happy Birthday, Beth!

Happy Birthday, Beth!

I apologize for being away from this blog for so long.  I plan to be back with another installment of the Fraud Omnibus series of posts on the subject of author fraud soon. A lot of the author-fraudsters seem to be keeping a lower profile at this time in the wake of the backlash from concerned reviewers, readers and other authors a few weeks ago.  But, there is still plenty more to be said.

If you read my previous posts, you may have noticed that author-fraudsters are people who have a different philosophy about ethics than the rest of us.  Most of them have a knack for dancing on the razor’s edge of what the rules and the law allows. They usually know just what they can get away with and just how far they can go and they don’t always confine their activities to simply paying for fake reviews, as described in this ZonAlert article.  Moreover, you may have noticed a pattern in their activities, for instance, they all hang together for fear of hanging separately.

Who is Beth Buege?

In the course of trying to deduce exactly what some of these folks who have a suspicious pattern of reviews, who either outright buy reviews or employ online gangs of fake fans, called “Street Teams,” to deceive readers and game the Amazon ranking and review system were up to, I ran across a real life mystery drama. It’s the story of a family who lost their daughter, Beth, to a cold-blooded killer, a strangler of women, on June 3, 1990.  It is believed that the killer is still on the loose in their community and a lot of people, who love Beth and have never forgotten her, want him put behind bars where he belongs. They are working very hard to get attention to this case and bring her killer to justice.

Time does not wash away the blood from a murderer’s hands. He knows who he is and, according to information available about this case online, so do a few other people.

Death is only a physical event and, because we are so much more than just our physical bodies, those who have passed on are never really far away from us.  Ever since I found out about this case, which is now a Milwaukee, Wisconsin cold case, I have often had the feeling that Beth is close by. I can see her smile sometimes when I close my eyes and sometimes I even think I can hear a faint voice saying, “Don’t forget me.”

She’s not able to speak out for justice on her own behalf now, so it is up to us to her to keep her case in the spotlight as best we can.

Every day that I read of a similar cold case somewhere in the country being re-opened and solved, I feel hopeful that this could happen for Beth, too. If the right detectives with the  intelligence and the drive to solve this case using all the new tools available to law enforcement agencies these days took enough interest in it, this case could be re-opened and Beth and her family could have some  justice and a modicum of peace.

Prosecuting criminals doesn’t bring back the dead, but it does give the family, the community and everyone else concerned the sense that the legal system works, at least, once in a while.  It would be nice for all of us to feel that we are not living in an environment where the bad people always win and the expense of everyone else and are never held accountable.

A glance at the large number of cold cases for murder, not only in Wisconsin, but all throughout the country does not impart a feeling of confidence or security.  Too many cold-blooded killers are never caught. Sometimes they blend in seamlessly with the rest of society and who knows what else they become involved in, how many other crimes they go on to commit – undetected, unsuspected, unpunished – because they know exactly how much they can get away with,  how to stay just out of reach of the justice system and very often they know how to insulate themselves with the support of others who, also, hold a different philosophy about ethics than the rest of us.

Getting Beth Buege’s case re-opened would be a gift to her, really the only gift we can give her.

It is, also, the right and ethical thing to do. It is simply not fair that  such criminality should be allowed to flourish.

Happy Birthday Beth!

birthday

Happy Birthday, Beth!

Beth was born on this day, May 16th, in 1969. As you can see from the pictures in the video below, she was a very pretty child who grew into a beautiful and very photogenic woman. She was only 21-years old when she was strangled by someone.  According to reports, the last person to see her was her boyfriend.

The following is from the Milwaukee, Wisconsin Journal Sentinal, June 3, 2010:

On Sunday, June 3, 1990, shortly before 9 a.m., Buege was found strangled in the passenger seat of her red Chrysler Laser in the 4900 block of N. 49th St. The car was seen several hours before parked outside what was then Jake’s restaurant in Wauwatosa, where a man she was dating lived upstairs.

A witness saw the car – with a license plate that read “FLRT 12” – jerking along N. 49th St., said retired Wauwatosa police detective King DeSeve.

“Whoever was driving it obviously didn’t know how to use a stick shift,” said DeSeve, who, with the blessings of Milwaukee police investigators, worked the case unofficially until he retired in 2003.

Beth was a loving daughter and a kind, trusting person, whose life was cut short by this inexplicable act of brutal violence. The motive is unknown.

For more details about Beth’s life and more information about this case, please, see the following video:

How You Can Help

The man who killed Beth has been dancing on the razor’s edge, just outside the reach of the law for far too long.  Please, look at the information available about Beth’s life and her murder at the previous post, My Tribute to Beth Buege, Her Family and Friends. If you know anything that could help police solve this case, please, contact Detective Kathy Spano at 414-935-1212.

If  you are moved by the details of Beth’s case, please, do what you can to keep her story fresh in people’s minds. If you have the ability or influence to help get this case re-opened, please, use use whatever is available to you to get more attention on the case and put the pressure on law enforcement to bring the murderer to justice.

Related articles:

Reward is Doubled by Parents Who Think Boyfriend is Suspect, The Milwaukee Sentinel, November 2, 1991: http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1368&dat=19911102&id=5kUbAAAAIBAJ&sjid=6U4EAAAAIBAJ&pg=3402,516255

Milwaukee slaying remains unsolved after 20 years,  Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, by Jesse Garza, June 3, 2013:  http://www.jsonline.com/news/crime/95479204.html

 

 

 

My Tribute to Beth Buege, Her Family and Friends

Posted in authors behaving badly, badly behaving authors, crazy people, criminals, misogyny, Murder, narcissism, popular culture, psychopathy, Rape, Rapists, Reviews, sexism, Sexual Assault, society, sociopathy, trolls, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2014 by The Solution

This was my rant site, the place where I vented about a lot of things that bothered me before I deleted most of those posts to focus on what is happening with indie authors committing fraud.  I once called this site my therapy place because I am a multiple violent crime survivor. I have survived multiple rapes as well as being abducted and held at gunpoint in an incident of random violence that nearly resulted in my death.

The men who tried kill me did not succeed. I survived.

But, Beth Buege did not.

In neither of our cases have the men who committed the violent crimes against us ever been brought to justice. There is no hope that the criminals who tried to kill me will ever be brought to justice – one of them was a cop.

But, I believe that there is still hope that Beth Buege will get justice, although her murder in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on June 3, 1990 is now a cold case.  I have read the articles and viewed the video tribute to Beth Buege below from YouTube and I have seen the determination of her family and friends to obtain justice for her – and for themselves.

You see, the family and close friends of Beth Buege are crime survivors, too. When their daughter’s life was brutally snuffed out in 1990, they crossed into that world of twilight that all of us who are violent crime survivors live in. Nothing ever looks the same afterward.

How I First Learned About the Murder of Beth  E. Buege

I would not know about Beth Buege except I happened to be at the right place at the right time to see her friends’ or family’s desperate attempts to bring attention to her case.

My understanding from this incident and from what I’ve read elsewhere is that the family of Beth Buege would like to bring more attention to the events surrounding her murder. More people talking about any case like this helps keep it alive in the minds of not only the public, but law enforcement.

To that I say: 10-4. Message received.

So, this is my tribute to Beth Buege.

It is a collection of articles and a video to inform you about the circumstances surrounding her unsolved murder. I hope that someone will see this who can help or who will feel moved to tell what they may know about the circumstances of her death, which will finally bring her killer to justice.

According to the articles and other information below, the Buege family is certain of the identity of her killer, but Beth was murdered in 1990 when DNA evidence had not yet developed to its present state of technology. Although, there are others who probably know something about the circumstances surrounding her murder, they are not talking. These seem to be the main reasons her killer has not been put behind bars for the rest of his life, which is better than he deserves. As it is, the suspected killer is still at large, apparently living quite a good life.

Information About Beth Buege Collected from the Web

Reward is Doubled by Parents Who Think Boyfriend is Suspect, The Milwaukee Sentinel, November 2, 1991: http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1368&dat=19911102&id=5kUbAAAAIBAJ&sjid=6U4EAAAAIBAJ&pg=3402,516255

Milwaukee slaying remains unsolved after 20 years,  Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, by Jesse Garza, June 3, 2013:  http://www.jsonline.com/news/crime/95479204.html

Unsolved Murder of Beth E. Buege, Unsolved Murders National Database, http://www.truecrimereport.com/coldcase/victim/unsolved-murder-of-beth-e-buege-28890875/

Beth is listed on this page along with many other beautiful, young women who have been murdered: http://csafd.proboards.com/thread/2437?page=37I’d like to point out the obvious, but something that is often forgotten when we talk about women who are murdered or raped: They’re not murdered or raped on their own. Somewhere is a brutal criminal who committed the crime and he is, more than likely, still at large.

(Update 3/22/2014: The following site lists suspicious deaths in Wisconsin. You’ll recognize Beth on the 7th row down, 3rd from the right. Hover your mouse over her photo for details:  http://php.wisinfo.com/mktg/unsolved_osh/ Also, see this page – http://www.thenorthwestern.com/section/WIS019804 –  for a number of videos discussing these cases, including a Cold Case Series, which you’ll find when you scroll down near the bottom. The video series discusses how cold cases are being handled and many of them solved, not only in Wisconsin, but elsewhere.  One theme is the importance of people talking about the cases and keeping on talking about them.)

(Update 3/25/2014: The following link goes to a memorial in Beth’s honor where you can send virtual flowers or a message:  http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=53202188 )

If you are on Facebook, you can go to this page and learn about Beth Buege at her brand new page (Apparently Facebook took down the old page a couple of days ago), which is called Memories of Beth Buege: https://www.facebook.com/groups/748070505218006/

This is a video tribute to Beth Buege with some known information about the night of her death, information about the prime suspect and who to call if you have any information. This is a very moving and haunting video. I woke up with the song, “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” going through my head this morning, I can’t get it out of my mind, which is what moved me to make this entire post :

If something happens to the above video, you may find it here: http://www.frequency.com/video/beth-buege/153062305/-/5-1429513

There is no peace without justice!

Justice is very important for all crime survivors, including the family and friends of murder victims, who are often not treated very well. Not only they are they cast aside by the system, but they are treated horribly by society as a whole.  They are left to pick up the pieces of their lives entirely on their own and sometimes they live in fear because of what they know. For instance, in this case a killer of women is still on the loose and since he has gotten away with his crime for so long, he may be feeling pretty confident about his chances of never getting in trouble for anything – ever.

Nobody can just move on from so great a violation as what this family – and many other survivors – have endured. They live with it every day. They go to sleep with it and they wake up with it. Their view of the world and the people in it has been completely altered forever. Their sense of safety and peace is completely shattered because they know a truth the rest of the world doesn’t seem to know or care about.

The only way to bring a modicum of peace to this family, for them to feel that the world is something like it ought to be, again, is for their daughter’s killer to be acknowledged for the murderer he is and be brought to justice. Justice and peace have been denied to this particular family for almost 24 years. But, there is hope. If you know anything about the circumstances of Beth Buege’s murder, please contact Detective Kathy Spano at 414-935-1212.

Rant on Stephen King’s Palpable Misogyny Toward Sex Crime Survivors

Posted in crazy people, misogyny, narcissism, popular culture, Rape, Rapists, sexism, Sexual Assault, society, sociopathy, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2014 by The Solution

393px-Frederick_Sandys_(1829-1904)_-_May_Margaret,_1865-6I have ranted here before about the misogyny and overall filth in Stephen King’s books. I was just beginning to come around – beginning to feel a little better about King, again, because frankly it’s hard to ignore his work and his success. The fact is he is really good at establishing characters and credibility in his books. I was more than half way through his big hit, “The Shining,” which is surprisingly not especially misogynistic, especially compared to Kubric’s movie version, although I found some racism toward the end, which I consider gratuitous use of racist epithets to be.

Gratuitous racism (or sexism/misogyny) is unnecessary and unpleasant. It takes away from the enjoyment of the story and horror should be filled with fun horror (vampires, zombies, etc.) and not real life horrors like racism and misogyny. That’s my position on this kind of thing. If the racism or misogyny doesn’t further the plot, doesn’t develop an important character, etc., then it doesn’t belong there.

But, I didn’t see much in the way of misogyny in the book, “The Shining,” in fact, King is very much into the mind of Wendy, who is intelligent, although trapped in a bad situation with her son.

So, here I am, beginning to forgive King, beginning to think I had literally read him a little wrong when, I ran across an article somewhere online talking about Stephen King’s misogynistic tweeting.

See the Tweet here: https://twitter.com/StephenKing/statuses/430468906243735552

In case the tweet ends up getting deleted, here’s some more information:

Related headlines

King later apologized saying he probably used the “wrong word.”

What is the right word, I wonder, for accusing a young woman who has come forward with allegations of sex abuse by her wealthy, influential step-father, who has a less than stellar reputation when it comes to keeping it in his pants around minors, of being malicious, spiteful and perhaps outright lying?

I don’t know and Stephen King has never clarified what he meant, exactly, but we can use a dictionary and find out that “bitchery” is a reference to the bitchy, spiteful malicious behavior of women.

So, I’ll say it, again – I think this man is a terrible misogynist. I think a lot of his work, not all, but certainly some of it is misogynistic and racist. I am not surprised, of course…  This is the world we live in and if King’s work didn’t exemplify it so well, he wouldn’t be so popular.

As a side note:  He,  also, at one point, blamed Twitter for his “bitchery” comment. This reminded me that he’s a big gun control guy … I ranted about him and his gun control book in a previous rant here… Gun control advocates like to blame inanimate objects whenever something goes wrong. Yeah, his Twitter account just jumped off his laptop and “went off” all by itself. Typical!

Rant on Wannabe Authors Who Support Book Piracy

Posted in book piracy, crazy people, Murder, narcissism, popular culture, psychopathy, society, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 6, 2013 by The Solution
382px-Captain_Kidd_hanging

The proper way to deal with thieves.

Well, I haven’t ranted for a while, but this is going to a be a fun one!

I recently popped in on my most unloved writer’s forum, which is just a honey pot for professional writers who step in there once in a while thinking its a real writer’s forum only to discover that it’s mostly a bunch of amateur on-line marketers trying to figure out how to game the ebook self-publishing system.

Most of the time, this little corner of Kboards called Writer’s Cafe is just a bunch of narcissistic blowhards tooting their own horns. Many times, I’ve had the impression someone there was successful only to run across a thread where they admit to selling 20 books a month. Or I catch them making statements about publishing that are simply incorrect, but apparently nobody there has the experience to know this, so they just keep repeating it to every new person there who comes into the forum and asks a question.

Well, in the past day or so, the honey pot attracted an interesting guest in the form of a successful writer, complaining about one of the forums bugaboo topics: Piracy.

He mentioned multiple problems revolving around piracy, including the problem of serial returners of ebooks at Amazon.com, which is an ongoing problem. I ranted about this before at Rant on Serial Ebook Returners at Amazon.

He talked about the substantial portion of his income lost to online thieves and mentioned the over-sharing of accounts, something I’d never heard of because I don’t have a digital book reader and I have no plans of ever getting one.

Now, the thread is in a downward spiral of denial that the forum is supportive of piracy. In my observation, the majority of alleged professional writers in the Writer’s Cafe are, in fact, very supportive of piracy. They post celebratory threads when they discover one of their books has been pirated because apparently this is the only way most of them can get anyone to actually read their work. And, many of them are poseurs who are extremely desperate to have their work read by someone other than a personal friend or family member.

I’m amazed at the number of people, including a moderator there, who claim to know pirates. Here’s my advice to anyone who knows a thief: Get far away from such a person for your own safety.

I used to know a person who pirated material from the internet and anything else he could get his hands on. He turned out to be a not only a cyber-criminal, but a  common, ordinary IRL thief, as well, and – surprise, surprise – a rapist.

The fact is this: Immoral people who steal books or other materials online don’t usually confine their crimes to one type or simply to the internet.

I’m amazed at how common this self-entitlement to other people’s property (their minds, their bodies, etc.) is, but if you followed my last post, you see that false-self entitlement is pretty much the legacy of W. Europe and Britain. So, here we are.

Stealing is immoral. There is simply no two ways about it. Yet, I’ve read and heard just about every justification for this crime imaginable. And, I have personally suffered some unpleasant consequences because of pirates, including a substantial loss of my income.

We need tougher laws against crime, in general, and we need to have a way of dealing with world-wide crime on the world-wide web. Government isn’t supposed to interfere with people’s lives, but they are supposed to establish justice and insure domestic tranquility. I’d like to see some of that justice and peace in the form of putting criminals (like internet pirates) on trial and putting them away for a very long time.

Meanwhile, if you a writer who doesn’t enjoy being robbed, you might want to stay out of the Writer’s Cafe at Kindleboards because if you mention anything about it there, you’ll get stung. That’s because most of them are not professionals and quite a few of them in the past didn’t mind admitting their lack of scruples.

What’s hilarious is that just a few days ago they had a self-congratulatory thread regarding how much better they are than the people at another forum. Some of the people there don’t seem to realize that anyone can read the comments there – it’s not an exclusive club – and no one who reads there could arrive at the conclusion that the posters there are superior to anyone – at least, not in morals, talent or intelligence!

See some of my older rants related to this subject:

Rant on Crazy and Abusive Online Forum Moderators

Rant on Rape Trolls and Online Psychopaths

Rant on Kindleboards or Kboards Writer’s Cafe and a Warning to Authors

Rant on Nuts in Writing Forums

Rant on Parasites Who “Hate Copyright

Rant on Crazy and Abusive Online Forum Moderators

Posted in crazy people, narcissism, psychopathy, society, sociopathy, trolls, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 16, 2013 by The Solution
Adolf_Hitler_1937

A crazy person in charge… Oops!
I just invoked Godwin’s law!
Discussion over!
{PD}

This rant is about abusive moderators in online forums. Unfortunately, forum members aren’t the lone source of abusive and insane behavior in online forums. In my experience, it is common for moderators to be not quite right in the head.

Once upon a time, back in the late 1990s I was a regular member of an online forum. It was a popular one that was moderated solely by the owner of the forum.  There were some interesting personalities on there and I learned a lot about effective written communication there.  As this popular forum grew, it became increasingly abusive and as many of the regular posters shared details of their personal lives there, it became apparent that many of them were truly mentally ill. Lots of them had diagnosed mental conditions of some kind and many were on medication. It got to the point where some posters there began warning others about all the psychos at this particular forum. Eventually, the crazies pretty much took over and the forum seemed to become a caricature of itself. Finally, the owner sadly shut it down.

But, a large group of dedicated, regular members were not ready for it to go away and one of them established her own forum and invited all the members to join.  At the new forum, the usual discussions and occasional flame wars went on and things didn’t seem all that different.  After a while, I began to realize that the owner and moderator of this forum was using multiple User IDs. She had her regular account and, at least, one sock puppet account.  A sock puppet, for anyone unfamiliar with this term, is a fraudulent secondary account someone establishes in order to pretend to be someone else.

Using her sock puppet IDs, this apparently schizophrenic moderator would pose as other posters in order to start heated discussions, hurl insults and instigate all kinds of problems.  While she was doing this, she, also, falsely accused other posters of having fraudlent accounts. She claimed she knew they were fake accounts because she could see that the IP addresses were the same, etc.  But, she was the one who had the multiple accounts and was starting arguments with “herself” and other posters so she could step in and moderate them.

This completely insane person, also, had access to people’s e-mail addresses, which they used to sign up for an account. The entire forum turned into an opportunity for this crazy person to lure people in, gain some measure of control over them, then feed off the emotional chaos she manufactured. In other words, this person was probably a narcissist or a psychotic or had some other kind of mental disorder.  She was from that pool of people from the original forum, many of whom were suffering from serious mental illnesses.

Now, apart from insanity, why would anyone want to own or moderate a forum?

The answer is, of course, money.

How Forums Make Money

Victor_Dubreuil_-_'Money_to_Burn',_oil_on_canvas,_1893

{pd}

Back in the 1990s, there were not a lot of affiliate programs and there was no Google AdSense. Amazon started the first online affiliate program, but just as it is now, it didn’t pay well then, either. It might generate enough money for the forum owner to cover part of the cost of hosting and domain. They, also, operated off PayPal donations from regular forum users.

But, 15 years later, things have changed a lot. People have forums usually either to promote products they’re selling or to generate passive income through advertising revenues.  When you go to a forum and you see lots of ads, then you know this is how they’re doing it.  Forums that don’t have ads are usually support forums for a product or service.

Many big forums these days don’t employ a lot of human moderators. Instead, they are moderated by some kind of automated complaint and review process or automatic filtering.

But, a few larger forums still use human moderators – sometimes multiple moderators.  Sometimes they are the owner of the forum, but if it’s a very large one, they have to find other people to moderate. Usually, these people are unpaid volunteers. Sometimes they are personal friends of the site owner, although more often they are frequent posters at the forum who volunteer for the job.

While there are some basic guidelines that can be given to forum moderators to help them do their jobs more effectively, there is nothing to do about the fact that many, if not most, people who volunteer to be moderators are personality disordered individuals. Some of these volunteers are narcissists who enjoy the sense of power and adulation that comes from the position of being a moderator.  At many forums – and I have complained most recently about the Writ’ers Cafe at KBoards (formerly Kindleboards) because I have seen outrageous examples of this relationship  there – the moderators are like some sort of gods who are never to be questioned and always to be praised and worshiped by the members of the forum. This is the narcissist-psychopant pairing I have previously ranted about – they go together like bread and butter.

Moderators set the tone at a forum, so if they’re crazy, then it quickly becomes a congregation of crazy posters as more normal people who want to join the discussion are soon repelled by their online activities or actually bullied off the forum because they are not properly participating in the mentally ill social dynamics of the forum.

As long as the core of crazies remains, the forum can continue to make money and that’s the most important thing in the case of forums that have advertisements everywhere. A heated discussion that turns into an explosion brings lots of visitors to their forum. If it’s bad enough, it generates discussion elsewhere online, which means more visitors to the site and more visitors means more revenues for the owners. It plumps their monthly visitor totals and if visitors click on ads, it increases their affiliate revenues.

So, these are the reasons how and why a forum can function with crazy moderators and equally crazy members and continue to generate revenues for the owner.  And, what do the volunteer moderators get out of it? They get to feed. They get their narcissistic “supply.” It’s kind of like paying musicians in beer to play at your night club. It’s not money, but it’s something they crave, so they’ll work for it.

Conclusion

devil

Don’t get caught in the devilish snares of forums run by crazy moderators.
{pd}

I will conclude by reiterating some of the things I’ve said in previous rants revolving around this subject, particularly about writer’s forums like the Writer’s Cafe at Kboards that encourages you to share information about yourself upfront, although this applies to any online forums.

Remember: When you sign up somewhere or even place a comment somewhere online – like at a blog (like this one) – you are leaving information someone can use to trace you. You never know who you’re dealing with online and I swear there is an increasing number of crazy people everywhere right now. This means you do not know if the owners and moderators of the forum are stable people or if they’re sociopaths or psychotics who are going to track you down and cause trouble for you. This has happened to people.  Furthermore, there’s a very good chance – in fact, I’d say it’s 100% in a forum of any size – that you are posting along side people who have serious mental disorders.

Therefore…

Do not sign up with your regular e-mail address. Use a throw-away email account that cannot be traced to you.

Choose a throw-away email name and a UserID at the forum that have absolutely nothing to do with you, ie. your preferences for anything whatsoever, where you live, your interests, etc. (If you like knitting, choose a handle that has something to do with skydiving; if your favorite food is hamburgers, then pick a handle that has something to do with Chinese food; and so on…). Also, choose something common that would be difficult to trace anywhere and never use it anywhere else except for at that particular forum.

Do not provide personal information about yourself of any kind – obviously never give financial information. Don’t brag about your income, what you own, your children, your pets, etc. In writing forums do not talk about your work. Certainly, do not provide links to where your books can be found – despite whatever they’re telling you, a help forum where you interact with other authors is not the place to market your books!

Also, do not post picture of yourself or your family – especially if you are a woman, do not post a picture of yourself. Do not post pictures of your children for the same reason. There are sickos online who will become fixated on you or your child just based on a glimpse of a photo – it has happened to me and countless other women and it can ruin your life. So, be very careful.

In fact, do not post any photos, at all – especially those taken with a camera that can provide your GPS (Global Positioning System) location – like a cell phone photo can – to someone who might want to harm you.  These photos are stamped with the latitude and longitude at which they were taken, so even if you take a picture of your pet gremlin frolicking in the grass of your backyard, someone could use that picture to locate you.

You don’t have to do or say anything wrong in a forum to have a problem. Just asking the wrong question over at a place like Writer’s Cafe Kboards can cause some people to go crazy and start harassing you – pretty soon, you’ll have a mob of them at a forum with a major narcissist-sycophant dynamic going on.  See the  “Rant on Kindleboards or Kboards Writer’s Cafe.”)

Get the information you need from the forum and get out. Remember, the way these forums make money is by your visits and the content you provide them with.  When you type something at a forum – they  own it – you are voluntarily contributing valuable content to their site, from which they profit.  Keep that in mind and ask yourself if you want to contribute content to a site owned and run by crazy, abusive people.  If you run across a forum like that – don’t feed the vampiric moderators or help fatten the owners’ profits by voluntarily contributing your content – especially if you are someone full of valuable insights. It won’t be appreciated by such people, anyway.

Read More About Crazy, Abusive Posters and Moderators in Online Forums:

http://www.psychforums.com/stalking-harassment/topic92780.html

http://boxedlight.com/blog/?p=641

Discusses cliquish forums and bad moderators with personal stories: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=93089.0

Article on How to Deal with a Forum Bully – I really like her final word of advice!:  http://voices.yahoo.com/online-forum-etiquette-deal-forum-bully-796861.html?cat=15

Good general article on the subject of Online Forum Bullies. It advises reporting forum bullies to the moderators, but this is useless advice if you have moderators who are, themselves, bullies and enjoy online bloodsports. Some personal stories of online forum bulllying are shared in the comments section at the end: http://chataboutyou.com/online-forum-bully

Interesting article about what to do if you own a forum and your moderators go bad. The comments section has personal stories of being bullied by cliquish posters and crazy moderators. This quote entitled “Scumbag Moderators” is mind-blowing because I’d swear they were talking about the Writer’s Cafe at Kboards because it describes exactly what goes on there – “I know a forum with scumbag moderators. The place is like a cult gathering. The mods will arbitrarily take issue with someone, almost always a new member, but not often enough for people to realize that the mods are a-holes – and they will make them feel unwelcome and treated unfairly…  …It is truly a disgusting collection of egos.” Read more at the following link:   http://www.seroundtable.com/archives/013440.html

Videos About Bad Behavior on Message Boards

I recommend listening to this video, but not watching it – the guy is eating and he has very poor table manners, but he makes some interesting points. Warning for some offensive language:

Rant on experience in Wiccan forums:

Rant on Message Boards:

Rant on Sycophants and Narcissists: How They Go Together Like Bread and Butter

Posted in crazy people, narcissism, sociopathy with tags , , , on April 25, 2013 by The Solution
AssortedBread4300ppx3

Sourdough bread and butter.
Date 10 June 2011, 18:14:55
Source Own work
Author FASTILY (TALK)
Creative Commons 3.0
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:AssortedBread4300ppx3.jpg

Sycophants and narcissists go together like bread and butter: The narcissist is the bread and the sycophant is the butter!

A sycophant is a toadying flatterer, a “suck up” or a “brown noser.” The sycophant doesn’t just want to get along, they actually enjoy playing the role of the loyal underling to anyone whom they perceive as having influence or authority.

The narcissist (described in previous rants) requires infinite, unmitigated, constant approval from others. They cannot tolerate the slightest bit of criticism or even dissent.  They see reflections of themselves everywhere and in everything they see. If they form an attachment to an idea, then they can become hostile to anyone who has an opinion that doesn’t support that idea because they see the idea as an extension of themselves. Therefore, criticism of that thing becomes, in the narcissist’s mind, a criticism of themselves.

Because the narcissist requires constant approval, he (or she) is often attracted to certain positions where he can receive the unquestioned, unchallenged worship of sycophants. The list is myriad.

Both the narcissist and his counterpart, the sycophant, are attracted to structures and order.  They both despise dissent.

Sycophants are conformists; they’re like mercury (quicksilver). They can mold themselves to any authority figure or any social group.

Narcissists are attracted to positions of power and authority.

Sycophants are conformists who worship those with perceived power and authority.

This relationship can be found in police departments, corporations, offices, politics, military organizations  and even social gatherings. Again, the example of the Kboards Writer’s Cafe comes to mind because it is an online social forum with actively involved moderators, who are perceived by sycophantic members of the group to have authority. Any mention of the moderators in a post often brings out a swarm of sycophants who worshipfully praise the moderators or other members who they perceive as having even the tiniest amount of influence within the social group.  Those who offer a differing view from that of the normative one or who are perceived as having little or no influence or value to the group are quickly marginalized by their  mob of sycophantic worshipers.

This pairing can often be found in inter-personal relationships.  Like a vampire, the narcissist must feed off others and the sycophant is an all too willing victim. The sycophant buys into the narcissists delusions of grandeur.

The relationship between narcissist and sycophant can be seen in religions, where the sycophants are all too anxious to give their minds away to a narcissistic cult leader or narcissistic invisible man (“god”). The sycophant will defend his or her narcissistic master, sometimes going to extremes, even violence, to quash dissent.

What makes the narcissist tick seems more obvious because they are clearly mentally disordered.  But, what makes the sycophant tick?  Is it stupidity? Is it laziness?  Is it a lack of self-confidence? Is it mind control? How about normative conformity?

See this video on sycophants and conformity:

What is normative conformity?

Rant on Indie Authors Behaving Badly

Posted in crazy people, narcissism, writing with tags , , on April 22, 2013 by The Solution
Psycho-Stempel

Psycho-stempel
Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons

This is a common subject these days, especially in reading circles.  I have written in previous posts about narcissistic upstart authors, some of whom I call “vanity authors,” which is a play on the term “vanity press.” These are authors who write to gratify their egos.  They can be self-aggrandizing, egomaniacal control freaks.

Many indie authors simply cannot handle the fact that someone has an opinion that differs from their own. One of the most common examples of indie authors behaving badly involves authors who respond negatively to negative reviews of their work. Most of the time they are novelists, who take offense to a review, then comment to the reviewer right on the sales page at Amazon.com. Naturally, many reviewers are disconcerted by this. They may interpret commentary from the author on their reviews as harassment or intimidation. Maybe if they are intimidated enough, they will remove the review.

Indie authors often fashion their own noose, place it around their own necks, then leap from a balcony to their own destruction. Why do they do it? I don’t know. I have only observed the procedure, which is why I have written this tutorial for the self-destructive indie author:

How to Self-destruct as an Indie Author

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Public domain
Wikimedia Commons

Begin by posting your name, your face, your private information about yourself and links to your books  everywhere you possibly can.

Don’t bother to learn anything about actual marketing, but go to a site filled with other amateurs who believe such cherished adages as “all publicity is good publicity.”

Join a forum like the Writer’s Cafe at Kboards and brag about your achievements and how much money you’ve made.  Alternatively, brag about how you’re not really in it for the money, but for the art.  Furthermore, brag about your writer’s life style in which you are a hermit and a curmudgeon who hates the world and everyone in it. Be sure to do this with every detail of your life available through a link.  At the very least, provide a pen name and links to your books, so that people can “review” them.’

Then, be sure to spam your book everywhere you can both at sites intended for readers and writers. Beg people for reviews. And, if you cannot get reviews, write your own!

Then, whenever anyone disagrees with anything you’ve written or interprets it in some way other than what you intended, let that person know how you feel about it. Tell them you disagree with them.  In fact, respond to every review you get. Tell the positive reviewers how kind and intelligent they are for discerning your brilliance and tell the negative reviewers that you’re sorry they are too stupid to appreciate your obvious talents.

In fact, be sure that everyone you feel disagrees with you about any little thing knows who you are.  Comment on their blogs and request that they remove anything that you disagree with – as long as you’re being polite about it, they should do exactly what you want, right?  Again, make sure they know who you are, after all, you’re so important – much more important than all those other lowly people who have a differing opinion about something.

Write a post at your blog and be sure to put your name, contact information and links to your books for sale, describing how you have been wronged by another person who has an opinion about something you’ve written that differs from your own.

The above are just a few ideas, of course.  Just keep working at fashioning that noose in your own individual, narcissistic way and you’re sure to get the job done right, eventually.

YouTube video about badly behaving indie authors:

YouTube video about demanding, narcissistic indie authors

YoutTube video about spamming, narcissistic indie authors

Other articles about indie authors behaving badly:

http://www.pocketfulofbooks.com/p/authors-behaving-badly.html

http://indiereader.com/2012/07/stop-the-gr-bullies-retaliation-backlash/

http://angelahornnovels.blogspot.com/2013/01/another-day-another-author-behaving.html

http://joeberhardt.com/2012/08/28/authors-behaving-badly-the-seedy-underbelly-of-reviewing/

http://www.paulkater.com/2012/09/authors-behaving-badly-booksellers-behaving-worse/

Especially interesting: http://indiereviewtracker.com/why-some-authors-deserve-to-fail/

The experience of a reviewer stalked by author for giving opinion:  http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/309224-what-it-s-like-to-be-stalked?chapter=428115

KDP thread involving this behavior: https://kdp.amazon.com/community/thread.jspa?threadID=165445&tstart=0

http://coreyann.me/2012/08/authors-behaving-badly-how-i-pissed-off-legions-of-emily-giffin-fans/

I like this article, it’s full of insights into badly behaving authors and has a tutorial: http://www.harryjconnolly.com/blog/index.php/four-ways-to-use-your-social-networking-skills-to-build-a-large-community-of-assholes/

http://www.salon.com/2013/04/15/self_publishing_star_faces_backlash_for_misogynist_rant_partner/

In the drama linked to below, a book reviewer is bullied into altering a review by an author, then apparently bullied some more and “blacklisted.”  This is her detailed account of the events: http://www.lizzylessard.com/i-will-not-be-bullied-blacklist-author-mike-kearby/