Rant on Indie Authors Behaving Badly

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Psycho-stempel
Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons

This is a common subject these days, especially in reading circles.  I have written in previous posts about narcissistic upstart authors, some of whom I call “vanity authors,” which is a play on the term “vanity press.” These are authors who write to gratify their egos.  They can be self-aggrandizing, egomaniacal control freaks.

Many indie authors simply cannot handle the fact that someone has an opinion that differs from their own. One of the most common examples of indie authors behaving badly involves authors who respond negatively to negative reviews of their work. Most of the time they are novelists, who take offense to a review, then comment to the reviewer right on the sales page at Amazon.com. Naturally, many reviewers are disconcerted by this. They may interpret commentary from the author on their reviews as harassment or intimidation. Maybe if they are intimidated enough, they will remove the review.

Indie authors often fashion their own noose, place it around their own necks, then leap from a balcony to their own destruction. Why do they do it? I don’t know. I have only observed the procedure, which is why I have written this tutorial for the self-destructive indie author:

How to Self-destruct as an Indie Author

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Public domain
Wikimedia Commons

Begin by posting your name, your face, your private information about yourself and links to your books  everywhere you possibly can.

Don’t bother to learn anything about actual marketing, but go to a site filled with other amateurs who believe such cherished adages as “all publicity is good publicity.”

Join a forum like the Writer’s Cafe at Kboards and brag about your achievements and how much money you’ve made.  Alternatively, brag about how you’re not really in it for the money, but for the art.  Furthermore, brag about your writer’s life style in which you are a hermit and a curmudgeon who hates the world and everyone in it. Be sure to do this with every detail of your life available through a link.  At the very least, provide a pen name and links to your books, so that people can “review” them.’

Then, be sure to spam your book everywhere you can both at sites intended for readers and writers. Beg people for reviews. And, if you cannot get reviews, write your own!

Then, whenever anyone disagrees with anything you’ve written or interprets it in some way other than what you intended, let that person know how you feel about it. Tell them you disagree with them.  In fact, respond to every review you get. Tell the positive reviewers how kind and intelligent they are for discerning your brilliance and tell the negative reviewers that you’re sorry they are too stupid to appreciate your obvious talents.

In fact, be sure that everyone you feel disagrees with you about any little thing knows who you are.  Comment on their blogs and request that they remove anything that you disagree with – as long as you’re being polite about it, they should do exactly what you want, right?  Again, make sure they know who you are, after all, you’re so important – much more important than all those other lowly people who have a differing opinion about something.

Write a post at your blog and be sure to put your name, contact information and links to your books for sale, describing how you have been wronged by another person who has an opinion about something you’ve written that differs from your own.

The above are just a few ideas, of course.  Just keep working at fashioning that noose in your own individual, narcissistic way and you’re sure to get the job done right, eventually.

YouTube video about badly behaving indie authors:

YouTube video about demanding, narcissistic indie authors

YoutTube video about spamming, narcissistic indie authors

Other articles about indie authors behaving badly:

http://www.pocketfulofbooks.com/p/authors-behaving-badly.html

http://indiereader.com/2012/07/stop-the-gr-bullies-retaliation-backlash/

http://angelahornnovels.blogspot.com/2013/01/another-day-another-author-behaving.html

http://joeberhardt.com/2012/08/28/authors-behaving-badly-the-seedy-underbelly-of-reviewing/

http://www.paulkater.com/2012/09/authors-behaving-badly-booksellers-behaving-worse/

Especially interesting: http://indiereviewtracker.com/why-some-authors-deserve-to-fail/

The experience of a reviewer stalked by author for giving opinion:  http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/309224-what-it-s-like-to-be-stalked?chapter=428115

KDP thread involving this behavior: https://kdp.amazon.com/community/thread.jspa?threadID=165445&tstart=0

http://coreyann.me/2012/08/authors-behaving-badly-how-i-pissed-off-legions-of-emily-giffin-fans/

I like this article, it’s full of insights into badly behaving authors and has a tutorial: http://www.harryjconnolly.com/blog/index.php/four-ways-to-use-your-social-networking-skills-to-build-a-large-community-of-assholes/

http://www.salon.com/2013/04/15/self_publishing_star_faces_backlash_for_misogynist_rant_partner/

In the drama linked to below, a book reviewer is bullied into altering a review by an author, then apparently bullied some more and “blacklisted.”  This is her detailed account of the events: http://www.lizzylessard.com/i-will-not-be-bullied-blacklist-author-mike-kearby/

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